Parenting

“Father of mine, tell me where did you go? You had the world inside your hand but you did not seem to know”

By But first, xanax. on July 31, 2020 • ( 0 )

I have been missing you lately. The long nights we would stay up and you would play classic rock music. You had that 90’s “state of the art” stereo and sound system, the one you had since I was a… Read More ›

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Chronic Fatigue is definitely a thing, and PCOS sucks.

By But first, xanax. on July 30, 2020 • ( 9 )

Here’s why… I know a product of PCOS is chronic fatigue. It is also a symptom of mental illness. Being tired all of the time is ruthless though. When people say “I’m tired,” you know they generally mean they are… Read More ›

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…

By But first, xanax. on July 23, 2020 • ( 3 )

I have pictures of you and us, tucked away between the pages of books, hidden in shoe boxes and in the back of photo albums and in the bottom of desk drawers. I come across them once in a while… Read More ›

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But first xanax is: www.butfirstxanax.com

By But first, xanax. on June 22, 2020 • ( 0 )

Hello everyone! I just wanted to let everyone know that my page is now simply, but first, Xanax http://www.butfirstxanax.com I am beyond excited to make my blog easier to read and navigate, and more aesthetically pleasing. I also wanted to… Read More ›

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Father’s Day kind of sucks.

By But first, xanax. on June 21, 2020 • ( 0 )

Father’s Day kind of sucks sometimes. Have you ever mourned the death of a parent that has not actually died? That is my father. I have not seen him in six years in October, and I don’t plan on ever… Read More ›

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Time keeps on slipping, into the future…

By But first, xanax. on April 8, 2020 • ( 4 )

I can feel my mental health slipping right now, and it is rough. I waited too long to fill a few of my medications, and of course, they won’t be here until the end of next week, so that’s fun…. Read More ›

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PCOS and Periods. (Or lack thereof)

By But first, xanax. on February 13, 2020 • ( 0 )

So here’s the thing, with my particular brand of PCOS I don’t have periods. Like ever. Which is great, sort of. I had really horrible periods in high school then they just stopped. I can’t really remember when exactly I… Read More ›

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Crepes

By But first, xanax. on December 19, 2019 • ( 0 )

I helped you cook a lot, chopping and cutting and spicing, but I distinctly remember two occasions when we really cooked. Once we made crepes. We mixed the thin batter and poured it in the pan. You showed me how… Read More ›

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Shoeboxes and Memories

By But first, xanax. on October 17, 2019 • ( 0 )

Your birthday came and passed and I swore I would not think of you. I found some old pictures in a shoebox in the closet and I did not cry. I still can’t let them go though. I keep them… Read More ›

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PCOS, the gift that keeps giving… not.

By But first, xanax. on October 8, 2019 • ( 3 )

Cyst update: it’s bigger-again. Surprise, surprise. SO the new question is: surgery again or wait? I’m choosing to wait. It isn’t significantly bigger so it isn’t a huge risk but there is still a risk. Since it’s big it could… Read More ›

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Let’s talk about my ex’s (Part 1)

By But first, xanax. on September 9, 2019 • ( 0 )

I think this is going to be a long one. Hence the “part 1”. There is just so much I have to say on this topic. I don’t even really know where to start. I guess I’ll start at the… Read More ›

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Searching

By But first, xanax. on September 8, 2019 • ( 0 )

What are you searching for? Don’t you know I’m just as lost as you? We’re two broken people On a sinking ship Oars just out of reach Your blue eyes permeate my thoughts Seeking answers I don’t have We simply… Read More ›

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Too fat for gymnastics

By But first, xanax. on August 29, 2019 • ( 0 )

I started gymnastics. My dad wanted me to. I must’ve been about 8. I was in third grade. He was in gymnastics as a kid so I should be too. I was excited at first. I thought it would be… Read More ›

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Like Glass

By But first, xanax. on August 28, 2019 • ( 0 )

My heart is breaking like glass my womb is broken my tears cover my pillow I don’t feel whole I am not a woman my body is against me I want tiny fingers and little snores I want it all… Read More ›

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144 Followers

By But first, xanax. on August 24, 2019 • ( 0 )

I am so beyond grateful. I will never stop being surprised when my follower count goes up. Bless every single one of you and just know, I will always be humbled that you all take the time to read my… Read More ›

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Working on something…

By But first, xanax. on August 23, 2019 • ( 0 )

Guys (and ladies!), I’m working on something BIG! I think I’m going to try and publish a book of poetry!!!! (!!) What do you all think??? Let me know! I would be selling on Amazon.

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FREE Self Care Ideas

By But first, xanax. on August 21, 2019 • ( 0 )

1. Visit a local art museum🎨 2. Bathtime! 🛀 3. Pray 🙏🏼 4. Cuddle your pet 🐱🐶 5. Go for a walk/be in nature 🍂🍃 6. Read inspirational quotes on pinterest 📖 7. Go for a drive and either listen… Read More ›

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New Facebook

By But first, xanax. on August 20, 2019 • ( 0 )

Hi everyone, it would mean the world to me if you would follow my new Facebook page But First Xanax @butfirstxanax if you’re on Facebook. I’m trying to expand to other social media platforms so please do like and follow… Read More ›

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Evergreen and Pine

By But first, xanax. on July 18, 2019 • ( 2 )

I remember the smell of pine so sharp is stings my nose. Such a distinct difference from the smell of the city. Gas and hot asphalt. One thing you always knew how to do was camp. That tent that seemed… Read More ›

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What I’ve learned since being 30

By But first, xanax. on June 25, 2019 • ( 4 )

It’s okay to say no for any reason Take time for yourself Wear sunscreen No seriously, wear sunscreen Spend more time in nature Animals are essential to happiness Your mom loves you more than you can ever know Find a… Read More ›

But first, Xanax.

Break the silence.

Parenting

“Father of mine, tell me where did you go? You had the world inside your hand but you did not seem to know”

Rate this:

Chronic Fatigue is definitely a thing, and PCOS sucks.

Rate this:

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…

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Father’s Day kind of sucks.

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PCOS and Periods. (Or lack thereof)

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Crepes

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Shoeboxes and Memories

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PCOS, the gift that keeps giving… not.

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Let’s talk about my ex’s (Part 1)

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Searching

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Too fat for gymnastics

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Like Glass

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144 Followers

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Working on something…

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FREE Self Care Ideas

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New Facebook

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Evergreen and Pine

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What I’ve learned since being 30

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