Depression

Setting Boundaries

By But first, xanax. on August 31, 2020 • ( 0 )

I havent been too active on here lately and it sucks, because I love this blog. It is so much of part of me and my journey. I have been trying to focus on myself lately. Doing a deep-dive if… Read More ›

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Short stories I never finish…

By But first, xanax. on August 1, 2020 • ( 1 )

I have this knack for writing the beginnings of short stories. Sometimes maybe an intro and a short “chapter” too. But I can never finish them and I don’t know why. I have so many thoughts in my head and… Read More ›

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Chronic Fatigue is definitely a thing, and PCOS sucks.

By But first, xanax. on July 30, 2020 • ( 9 )

Here’s why… I know a product of PCOS is chronic fatigue. It is also a symptom of mental illness. Being tired all of the time is ruthless though. When people say “I’m tired,” you know they generally mean they are… Read More ›

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…

By But first, xanax. on July 23, 2020 • ( 3 )

I have pictures of you and us, tucked away between the pages of books, hidden in shoe boxes and in the back of photo albums and in the bottom of desk drawers. I come across them once in a while… Read More ›

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I lost the colors…

By But first, xanax. on July 20, 2020 • ( 0 )

I feel this need to write. Like an ache in my soul. But as I sit here, staring at this screen, I have nothing. No pretty words, no uplifting quotes, no positive outlook. I am devoid even of anger. I… Read More ›

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Because it had a lock.

By But first, xanax. on July 16, 2020 • ( 2 )

During the time I was being molested, meaning as a child, I spent a lot of time in the bathroom of the home I was molested in (FYI not my own home). The bathroom felt like a safe place because… Read More ›

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The Definition of Consent.

By But first, xanax. on July 15, 2020 • ( 1 )

You want to know what means Yes? The word Yes. It’s that simple. Photo by Mihai Surdu on Unsplash

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Pedophilia is not a sexual orientation.

By But first, xanax. on July 13, 2020 • ( 5 )

I saw this stupid video on Facebook and it set me off. It was some clips of two Ted Talks where two women discussed their belief that Pedophiles can’t help their nature, that they shouldn’t be shunned or eliminated from… Read More ›

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Falling Leaves is everything the world needs right now.

By But first, xanax. on July 10, 2020 • ( 4 )

I am longing for fall so badly it aches inside. I hate the summer. When I was in high school summer was my escape. Lying by the pool, soaking up the sun, getting tan and swimming in my parents pool…. Read More ›

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Attention

By But first, xanax. on July 9, 2020 • ( 2 )

I’ve heard it said more than once about people with mental illness that they are “attention seeking”. Especially about teenagers. For one thing if you fake a mental illness for attention, you do in fact, have some form of a… Read More ›

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Break the Silence. End Rape Culture.

By But first, xanax. on July 8, 2020 • ( 0 )

Every 73 seconds an American is Sexually Assaulted. (1) An American. This doesn’t even include the other billions of people in the world. (1) “You’re not a victim for sharing your story. You are a survivor setting the world on fire with… Read More ›

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Chasing the highs and lows

By But first, xanax. on July 7, 2020 • ( 0 )

The thing I hate the most about my Bipolar disorder is the constant medication changes. I am always chasing the balance between the highs and the lows. When I am too low medication has to changed. Then I am too… Read More ›

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I’m on Twitter again…

By But first, xanax. on July 6, 2020 • ( 0 )

Last time I tried to use Twitter to expand my platform I got sucked into all the bad parts of Social Media. This time I will not make that mistake. I am using it strictly to showcase my page, share… Read More ›

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Little girl…

By But first, xanax. on July 6, 2020 • ( 0 )

Little girl, I know your pain. I know you’re scared and that you feel so alone. I know that the creak of that door opening is your nightmare. I know that you fear being left with him. I know that… Read More ›

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Salt and Sadness

By But first, xanax. on July 3, 2020 • ( 0 )

Have you ever stood on a Cliffside in the middle of the night and contemplated the jump Looked into the darkness with the wind whipping around you Watched the waves crashing against the rocks Have you envisioned the biting cold… Read More ›

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Making the victim the perpetrator.

By But first, xanax. on July 2, 2020 • ( 0 )

One of the sad realities for sexual abuse survivors is that some of the people around them, even and especially their own family, turn them into the perpetrator, rather than the victim. Some family will continue to talk to the… Read More ›

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“I don’t even know how I feel lately…”

By But first, xanax. on June 30, 2020 • ( 0 )

I feel like I am failing right now. I know that it’s a high possibility that this is just my brain doing what it does and filling me with negative self-talk, but I feel so much shame and sadness for… Read More ›

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But first xanax is: www.butfirstxanax.com

By But first, xanax. on June 22, 2020 • ( 0 )

Hello everyone! I just wanted to let everyone know that my page is now simply, but first, Xanax http://www.butfirstxanax.com I am beyond excited to make my blog easier to read and navigate, and more aesthetically pleasing. I also wanted to… Read More ›

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Father’s Day kind of sucks.

By But first, xanax. on June 21, 2020 • ( 0 )

Father’s Day kind of sucks sometimes. Have you ever mourned the death of a parent that has not actually died? That is my father. I have not seen him in six years in October, and I don’t plan on ever… Read More ›

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The things about OCD that people without OCD don’t know.

By But first, xanax. on June 15, 2020 • ( 0 )

So I have OCD, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It’s very mild compared to others, and I am so grateful for that. What I learned through my diagnosis though was that there are many symptoms of OCD that people probably are… Read More ›

But first, Xanax.

I have already lived a thousand lives, and I have yet to live a thousand more.

Depression

Chronic Fatigue is definitely a thing, and PCOS sucks.

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…

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I lost the colors…

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Because it had a lock.

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The Definition of Consent.

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Falling Leaves is everything the world needs right now.

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Attention

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Chasing the highs and lows

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Little girl…

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Salt and Sadness

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Making the victim the perpetrator.

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“I don’t even know how I feel lately…”

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Father’s Day kind of sucks.

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The things about OCD that people without OCD don’t know.

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