Creative Writing

Short stories I never finish…

By But first, xanax. on August 1, 2020 • ( 1 )

I have this knack for writing the beginnings of short stories. Sometimes maybe an intro and a short “chapter” too. But I can never finish them and I don’t know why. I have so many thoughts in my head and… Read More ›

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“Father of mine, tell me where did you go? You had the world inside your hand but you did not seem to know”

By But first, xanax. on July 31, 2020 • ( 0 )

I have been missing you lately. The long nights we would stay up and you would play classic rock music. You had that 90’s “state of the art” stereo and sound system, the one you had since I was a… Read More ›

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…

By But first, xanax. on July 23, 2020 • ( 3 )

I have pictures of you and us, tucked away between the pages of books, hidden in shoe boxes and in the back of photo albums and in the bottom of desk drawers. I come across them once in a while… Read More ›

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Salt and Sadness

By But first, xanax. on July 3, 2020 • ( 0 )

Have you ever stood on a Cliffside in the middle of the night and contemplated the jump Looked into the darkness with the wind whipping around you Watched the waves crashing against the rocks Have you envisioned the biting cold… Read More ›

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But first xanax is: www.butfirstxanax.com

By But first, xanax. on June 22, 2020 • ( 0 )

Hello everyone! I just wanted to let everyone know that my page is now simply, but first, Xanax http://www.butfirstxanax.com I am beyond excited to make my blog easier to read and navigate, and more aesthetically pleasing. I also wanted to… Read More ›

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Rapper Names

By But first, xanax. on March 13, 2020 • ( 5 )

Okay here’s my question, WHERE do rappers come up with their names??? Like I NEED to know this information. Why did Biggie Smalls pick an oxymoron for his name? Was he like I’ll be biggie smalls just in case I… Read More ›

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New Endings

By But first, xanax. on December 31, 2019 • ( 2 )

The most amazing thing happened last night. I was doing my normal nighttime routine, taking my medication when I realized I’ve only been taking three meds. I normally take five. I was floored. I stopped to think when the last… Read More ›

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Poems from another time

By But first, xanax. on November 18, 2019 • ( 1 )

In high school, I sat next to a kid in English that was a bit odd. I liked him though, not romantically but in general. He was smart, he made me laugh, and we helped each other with our work…. Read More ›

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Mirrors

By But first, xanax. on November 13, 2019 • ( 0 )

I’m surrounded by broken glass like shattered mirrors my hands are bleeding from trying to gather the shards in my open arms ashamed of the mess I’ve created barely able to hold it all pieces escaping my grasp and falling… Read More ›

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Blood Flow

By But first, xanax. on November 12, 2019 • ( 4 )

I want to cut I want to bleed I want the welts to show And the blood to flow And people to know Everyone to see What’s inside of me Manifesting to physical scars You can’t ignore Something you can… Read More ›

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Bleed Through

By But first, xanax. on November 11, 2019 • ( 2 )

Drag the knife across my skin Watch it bleed now do it again The thoughts are there You just don’t care This time they win You cut again It drips down your wrist You clench your fist Darkness falls Put… Read More ›

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Sabotage

By But first, xanax. on November 10, 2019 • ( 0 )

I had to go through hell to find you again To awaken what once was Walking a thin line Of sabotage And fear To bring you back to me I thought this was what I wanted But always I just… Read More ›

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All Hallows Eve

By But first, xanax. on October 31, 2019 • ( 2 )

Tell me your wicked desires why do you hide from me? I am the dark of night and the chill in your bones I will rest rotting beside your scars lie here next to me creaking in our coffins for… Read More ›

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Stage

By But first, xanax. on October 29, 2019 • ( 0 )

They used to call me glitter girl But now the sparkles gone Like confetti dropped on stage After the last played song The lights gone out It’s over Curtain calls been dropped In case you didnt know I’ve been long… Read More ›

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Snuffed out

By But first, xanax. on October 21, 2019 • ( 0 )

There’s a light inside And it’s dying out Every time I see their faces together And revisit that image Around and around it goes Self-doubt and self-hate Soon I won’t have any light left at all… https://www.pexels.com/photo/smoke-59810

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Galaxies

By But first, xanax. on October 10, 2019 • ( 0 )

Look into my eyes like galaxies unto themselves see the tiny planets revolving in my own personal universe they burst when you look at me time has no meaning here you will know nothing of it only bodies and skin… Read More ›

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An old journal entry I found…

By But first, xanax. on October 4, 2019 • ( 0 )

Remembering. So this is what it feels like to remember. To have every detail etched into you, like frosted glass. the tinkling of rain on the window, the darkness swallowing us; he and I. the warmth of his body next… Read More ›

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Full Moon

By But first, xanax. on October 3, 2019 • ( 0 )

Happy National Poetry day!!!! “Wolf moon,” she whispers, her fur boots covered in ice and her own wolves following close behind her other’s howling in the distance gathering wood she is in the mountains of the Swiss Alps just at… Read More ›

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Sickness

By But first, xanax. on September 28, 2019 • ( 0 )

Would you miss me if I died? Would the weight of my sickness be lifted from your shoulders? Would my sadness be rinsed from your hands? Could you go on without me, as if I never existed? I feel I… Read More ›

But first, Xanax.

I have already lived a thousand lives, and I have yet to live a thousand more.

Creative Writing

“Father of mine, tell me where did you go? You had the world inside your hand but you did not seem to know”

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…

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Salt and Sadness

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Rapper Names

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New Endings

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Poems from another time

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Mirrors

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Blood Flow

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Bleed Through

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Sabotage

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All Hallows Eve

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Stage

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Snuffed out

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Galaxies

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An old journal entry I found…

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Full Moon

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Sickness

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