PCOS and Periods. (Or lack thereof)

So here’s the thing, with my particular brand of PCOS I don’t have periods. Like ever. Which is great, sort of. I had really horrible periods in high school then they just stopped. I can’t really remember when exactly I stopped getting them. It never occurred to me to think that much about it. When the doctor would ask, “when was your last menstrual cycle?”, I would just blankly tell them I had no idea. It wasn’t until I was 24 that I was actually diagnosed with PCOS. The problem with no periods is that I don’t ovulate. Ever. My doctors think it’s quite possible that I have never ovulated in my life. That’s not to say I don’t have eggs, I have quite a bit, all nestled in my ovaries. They just don’t come out. Which is obviously a problem when you want babies.

Anyway, the reason I’m telling you any of this is that since I don’t have periods this can cause your uterine lining to become thick which in turn can cause cancerous cells. Periods keep this lining thin. Since I don’t have them I am supposed to take pills to induce a period every month. Now I’m the first to admit that I don’t do this like I’m supposed to. I despise having a period. Induced periods seem to be especially hellish. The cramps and bleeding are intensified. And there is always blood clots. So it’s been since about July or so since I had my last (induced) period. So I took my course of pills like I was directed and waited for the horror to start. It’s just as bad as ever. I missed a day of work because the cramps are so bad. The flow is really heavy, and for extra funsies the hormones mess with my bipolar and cause my depression to spike, so I’ve been dealing with that today. But today, today takes the cake. By far, the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me happened. I could just melt into nothing right now.

I was standing in my office with my boss and someone we work closely with, luckily not a client but still someone important, and I bled on the floor. Right in front of them. And not like a small bit. Enough to be noticeable. What do you do in that situation? I mean we’re all adults but it’s still so awkward. It’s not something I could control obviously so I’m not ashamed, it wasn’t my fault. I was wearing something but it’s just so bad right now that it apparently went right through. Anyway, that’s my story today, I hope your day is going better. Cheers!

Categories: Anxiety, Depression, Infertility, Mental Health, Parenting, Self Esteem, self-care

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