The most amazing thing happened last night. I was doing my normal nighttime routine, taking my medication when I realized I’ve only been taking three meds. I normally take five. I was floored. I stopped to think when the last time I took the other two were, which are my main mood stabilizers by the way, and it’s been over a month! What’s more, I feel great! I truly hadn’t noticed that I’m not taking them until yesterday.
I am in such a wonderful place mentally. I have not had any episodes of depression and only slight mania. I feel like a new chapter of my life is beginning. One that doesn’t involve being sucked into constant darkness along with a whole host of medications to keep me stable. I am learning to be bipolar, in a healthy way. It is so incredibly freeing.
I haven’t written a whole lot because I’ve been so happy I haven’t had anything to write about! My plan for the new year is changing. I am going back to school. Starting in January for my Bachelors in Business, then on to my Masters if I survive! I am exploring my relationship with God and my spirituality. I am losing weight. I am learning to love myself again. I am letting go of trauma, loss, heartache-my past. I am laying it to rest.
Sure, it may resurface once in a while, on someday when I feel particularly sad, but not in the same way as it did before. I am healing. And let me tell you; it is glorious.