Well, it’s been a rough three weeks. Most especially this last week. I was suicidal for the first time in years. Rapid cycling, pity parties, crying a ton. Finally saw the doctor today and as it turns out, the IUD (Mirena, birth control) I had removed three weeks ago is most likely the cause of this insanity. Hormone levels going all over the place probably caused everything else to go out of wack. After pouring my heart out to my psych doctor I almost instantly felt better. It was like a weight was lifted. I think it must be what a cancer patient feels like when the chemo is over and it was successful, though I obviously can’t know. Even though I hadn’t taken my meds yet I felt immediately better. It was like I was saying, please fix me, and he was doing it in a methodical, logical way.
So now we’re increasing my mood stabilizers (I take two main ones) and he will follow up with me next week to make sure it’s working otherwise, we will try something else. I am so lucky to have been blessed with such an amazing doctor and hopefully, I will start feeling more like myself soon.