If you’ve seen my previous post then you know that I am not doing so well. I am rapid cycling, super manic than depressed very quickly. I am feeling like I’d be better off dead, tired of being bipolar, etc. I am basically just a mess. So would you like to know how I am coping?

Well, had four shots of tequila today. That is how I am coping tonight. It is 8:45 PM and I am done today. I started my day off crying, cried some more. Drank coffee, showered, cried, wrote, cried. My husband took me to the movies to try and cheer me up, where I cried because Mufasa died (ya, we saw Lion King, ya I knew he died already but I still cried), then we came home and I cried a bit more, and I decided I was tired of crying so I drank.

Now I am fully aware that this is an unhealthy coping mechanism, so please, spare me the lecture. Right now I don’t want to feel sad, or lonely, or depressed, or bipolar. I just want to feel drunk. So that is how my night is going, how is yours?

Categories: Addiction, Anxiety, bipolar disorder, Depression, Grief, Infertility, Mania, Mental Health, OCD, PTSD, Writing

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