I am feeling a little crazy today. I don’t generally like to use that word, but I just got my IUD removed a week ago so I am coming off a lot of progesterone and I am FEELING IT. I feel super manic and a bit angry but also like I want a lot of hugs and chocolate, but like don’t mess with me either because I might lose it on you.
It’s real fun because I’m sort of like a bomb right now. I could just blow up. Or I could be deactivated (with the aforementioned chocolate). So, it makes for an interesting day. My coworker said it’s never a dull moment, which made me laugh. It’s nice to have people who understand. I wasn’t always so lucky.
At my last job, I didn’t feel comfortable speaking about my mental illness so openly. There were a few select people that I did tell and who knew when I was having bad days. I missed a lot of work in only working there one year and I always felt so guilty, but there were days I literally just couldn’t force myself out of bed. I was just too depressed. I felt too hopeless to move.
That is what I aim to change with my blog and all my social media really, let’s talk about it all. Let’s put it in the open. Let’s treat it like what it is. An ILLNESS. Not something to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. Let’s be able to say I have bipolar disorder, or depression, or BPD, as easily as we say I am diabetic or am allergic to peanuts. Why can’t we?
Why has our society made us think that it isn’t okay to have a chemical imbalance in our bodies that we have no control over? When did it start? Have you ever researched into why people, especially women, were admitted into insane asylums in the 19th century? It is absolutely appalling. I’ve listed some below:
- Novel Reading
- Imaginary female trouble
- suppression of menses
- desertion by husband
This is part of a list that was from a logbook of the West Virginia Hospital for the Insane for admissions between 1864 and 1889*.
I guess you could say it started as long ago as this, or even before. Think about the Salem witch trials even. If a woman was a naturalist or homeopathic healer she was considered a “crazy witch”. So how do we stop this? How do we change this mindset that has been so ingrained in us for so long?
First off, I think we need to talk about it freely. It needs to be something that is talked about like anything else. Not behind closed doors, not with a stigma attached, not with shame, but as a legitimate medical issue as anything else. If people feel comfortable talking about it then they will feel comfortable seeking help. That’s our first step. We just have to take it.