PTSD is a bitch

I never thought I would go through PTSD. When I think of it I know it’s a horrible thing but I think of veterans coming home from war, reliving the things they’ve seen. Never did I think that sexual abuse could lead to PTSD.

Having flashbacks, disassociating, feeling separated from my own body, being jumpy and easily startled. These are all things I’ve been dealing with lately and until I spoke with my doctor and saw “PTSD” written on a piece of paper I never knew that’s what it was.

Why it took this many years to affect me this way, I couldn’t tell you. My therapist says there can be a million things that could’ve triggered it. Honestly, I’ve suppressed it for so long that I think it just eventually had to come out. A sort of pressure relief valve so to speak. It’s like my body is always on edge now.

Another fun new thing is being in the car. If im driving im totally fine but if someone else is driving I have massive panic. My body goes into flight mode severely and I think we’re going to die. I freak out if I’m not in control. I’m convinced im going to die in the car someday.

Anyone else have issues in the car like this? What did or do you do to overcome it? It’s beginning quite a problem for me so any recommendations would be greatly appreciated.


Categories: Addiction, Anxiety, bipolar disorder, Depression, Mania, Mental Health, OCD, PTSD, Rape, Self Esteem, self-care, Writing

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