I don’t want to feel anymore today. I take a buspirone and hope that it floods me with numbness. I am overwhelmed with sadness. I’m frustrated with feeling anything at all. Is it just med changes? I dropped my dose of celexa 20 mg. Or is it deep seeded trauma? Actual sadness? A bad day? I just want to go home and sleep, cuddle my dog and hide. There are still far too many hours left in this day. I wish I could cut through them with a knife and it would be tomorrow already. My head hurts with all the buzzing thoughts I’m having. Too much noise, and it’s giving me a headache. Maybe that 20 mg was too much to cut back. Maybe I’ll just never really be like a normal person…maybe, maybe, maybe…

Categories: Addiction, Anxiety, bipolar disorder, Depression, Infertility, Mania, Mental Health, OCD, Self Esteem, self-care, Suicide, Writing