As you get older do you get more comfortable with dying? Does it become less terrifying? I still have so much to do. Yet every year that comes and goes I feel death coming closer, it’s cold hands reaching out, trying to grip my shoulders.

I don’t just think of my own death but the death of my parents, my husband, my friends. What will I do when they each leave this life behind, and in turn me? I secretly hope I go before them all because I don’t know if I could ever bear the loss.

I’m a believer of God so I shouldn’t be fearful of my destiny but I’m still scared. Are we secretly in the prime of our lives when we are in our thirties? Not so old but not so young?

Just morbid thoughts swirling through my head today. Not sure where they are coming from but when death greets me I don’t think I’ll be ready, like an old friend. I think I’ll always be scared and looking back at my life, thinking on all the things I should’ve done.

Categories: Anxiety, bipolar disorder, Depression, Mania, Mental Health, OCD, Self Esteem, Writing

2 replies

  1. I do the same thing. I think of death. Not do much fear. So much to do and I want to do. Time is running out.
    Regrets of what I haven’t done.
    Just live each day to the fullest. 😊


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