The end of my PCOS Journey

No miracle babies for me.

After 5 years of trying. I finally got a concrete diagnosis from my psychologist the other day. Bipolar 2 and OCD. More med changes. Topamax. After speaking with my OBGYN it would be irresponsible not to be on birth control. If somehow I conceived the birth defects are terrible.

I am devastated. I can’t explain how much my heart is breaking. It feels like my guts have been ripped out. I know the likelihood that I would ever conceive is next to zero, but in my mind there was always still a tiny sliver of hope. Now that I’ll be on birth control starting in May, that hope is gone, and I am so sad.

Categories: Anxiety, bipolar disorder, Depression, Infertility, Mania, Mental Health, OCD, Parenting, PCOS, Pregnancy, Self Esteem, self-care, Writing

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