One of the things I hate most about my mental state is that I can’t seem to gauge if people are upset with me or not. If I miss an event, outing, or a phone call, and someone doesn’t respond right away, or responds very shortly (like just saying “okay”) I immediately think they’re mad at me. I dwell on the message for days. Every other thought is about them being mad at me. I obsess over the conversation, dissect it, and replay it over and over. Or if it’s a message I read it over and over again, looking for clues that aren’t there.

Then I start having intrusive thoughts. Thoughts like; they don’t want to be my friend anymore, or I’ve permanently damaged my relationship with them. And it’s all. I. Can. Think. About. Until I get a normal message from them which can take days sometimes. Meanwhile I’m wrapped up in my brain, thinking the absolute worst. No matter how much I try and talk myself down from the ledge my mind is flinging me off it. And it is very frustrating. Anyone else share this affliction?

Categories: Addiction, Anxiety, bipolar disorder, Depression, Mania, Mental Health, OCD, Self Esteem