I like to shop. I know a lot of people like to shop, but I like to shop a lot. Too much. I have a shopping problem. While I don’t want to say I have a shopping addiction, I might. I shop when I am happy. I shop when I am sad.  I shop to celebrate, to relieve anxiety, to socialize, when bored, and sometimes just because there is money to shop with. In my twenties I refused to acknowledge this may even be a problem and whenever the thought briefly came into my head, I pushed it out immediately and would not allow myself to think about it.

Now that I am 30 (Soon to be 31. Ugh.) I need to wake up and smell the coffee. So to speak. I don’t want to live paycheck to paycheck anymore. I want my own home, I want a new car, savings, and a retirement, and very soon I want a baby. How can I take care of a child if I refuse to follow a budget and just spend money however I feel in the moment? I can’t. It’s that simple.

my dad made a comment at dinner tonight (a very true comment) that in my almost 31 years on this earth, I’ve never been able to manage money, and I’ve always spent it as fast, or faster than I make it. What bothered me wasn’t the comment, it was the fact that he’s right. I can’t keep doing this. Do I need therapy? Maybe. I’m not ready for that yet though. My first step is going to be giving up my debit and credit card to my husband.

It probably seems extreme to some but if I have to ask him every time I need to get something like makeup (one of my biggest addictions), then I will have to think about what I am purchasing because I have to tell him. I can’t impulse buy anymore. At this point desperate times and all that. I don’t think I have a choice. Something has to change, and it’s me. I have to change. Right now.

Progress updates to come. (Send help…)

Categories: Addiction, Anxiety, bipolar disorder, Depression, Homeopathic Remedies, Mania, Materialism, Mental Health, OCD, Organization, Self Esteem