I’m sixteen
and you are older than me
I think it’s sexy
a man who is actually a man
most of the men in my life have let me down…
I’m eating gummy bears and drinking captain and coke
watching your television mindlessly
you are working at your computer
green eyes blazing in concentration
I can smell your sweat
it’s probably 105 outside
you stop working and pull me up to you on the couch
exhale a hot breath, on this hot night
you kiss me and I taste the alcohol on my tongue
I reach for my shirt to pull it over my head
and then we fall into the night
and our bodies dance.

We are a mess you and I,
that is why we clicked
that night I stare at the clock on your bedside table
watching the minutes tick by, I cannot sleep
I know these moments are fleeting and it makes me deeply sad
I know that someday you’ll be only a memory
and it haunts me now
I’ve always wanted what I can’t have
and you are no exception.

Categories: Addiction, Anxiety, bipolar disorder, Depression, Homeopathic Remedies, Mania, Mental Health, OCD, Poetry, Self Esteem, self-care, Wanderlust, Writing