They call it a “mood disorder”. Whatever that means…

The doubt fills my mind. My anxiety tells me; you can’t do this. You aren’t enough. You will never be happy. It stops me from reaching for your hand and telling me your thoughts.

I want to scream but it’s like I am drowning. My lungs filling with water, and no sound comes out. I can’t hold my breath forever.

I am looking at you, but I don’t see you. I know that you are talking, but I can’t hear you either. It is like I am lost in a time warp. Circling and circling inside my brain, buzzing like a million bees. Around and around my thoughts swarm, angry and fuzzy, and not quite precise.

I grit my teeth so hard that my jaw aches, as I pace down the hall. Back and forth, like my mind. I rub that spot on my palm with my thumb, over and over until it feels raw. It is a small comfort I have. One moment I am high, happy, feeling clear from this mental fog. And just as quickly, I am back down again. Falling down the rabbit hole in my head.

Will I ever come out again?



Categories: Addiction, Anxiety, bipolar disorder, Depression, Homeopathic Remedies, Mania, Mental Health, OCD, PCOS, Self Esteem, self-care, Writing

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

I survived sex trafficking

My story of survival, desperation, aftermath.. and hope❤️

ANNA WALDHERR A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse

An abuse survivor's views on child abuse, its aftermath, and abuse-related issues

Thorn Mooney

Witch Author | Wiccan Priestess | Covenleader

Once Upon The Wytching Hour

Lost in the woods....

Dowsing for Divinity

Pagan Theology, Poetry, and Praxis

%d bloggers like this: